The Week That Was-Edition 9

The week that was:  (17/02/2010)

Hello ladies and ungentle-men J here I am back with a yet another column of mine. I hope you all had a great weekend; I didn’t have a great one to be honest. Staying with couple of lads and doing assignments over a weekend is not what I would call an ideal way to spend the week end while the rest of the world is out chilling and then follows the God forbidden Monday. I hate Mondays; the thing about Monday is that it is followed by Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday which means yet another week of doing things which you hate the most, just for the sake of fitting-in with the rest of the world and not looking out of place. I have sworn on myself that I would never crib about how bad the food is at hostel or what a Muppet the cook is. The inspiration behind this is Chetan Bhagat who has cribbed about food in a much more humorous way in Five Point Someone and 2States, if you haven’t read it then read it, if you did it already then Hi-Five.

Mayawati a.k.a Currencywati has created yet more controversy by accepting a garland made of 1000rupee notes worth around Rs.1Crore, narcissism at its worst. Anyone who votes for such a person should be shot first because the one who supports a crime should be punished more than the criminal himself/herself. How can anyone do such a thing, for flip sake she is the leader of a state in which 2/3^rd of the population is either illiterate or in poverty and this little dinosaur is flaunting her rupee garland made by damaging the currency notes. Indians are the only nationals who scribble on their currency, fold it in awkward shapes, punch holes in it and even destroy it as part of their prayers and ceremonies, not surprising when majority of the country is filled with illiterates. Surely she must hate herself if she looks at her from a third person’s point of view, for being so obsessed with herself and going to an extent of building expensive statues, I think given choice she would not even vote for herself.

The Kerala government has added 12more Important Bird Areas (IBA), IBA is a programme which aims at identifying and protecting key sites for protecting birds and other biodiversity regions. The state now has 36 bird havens (3^rd highest in India), bird watchers are said to be extremely delighted at this announcement, and my mate reckons such IBAs should be set up at RS Puram, Peelamedu and outside every Coffee Day in the state. I had a tough time explaining that the ones set up in Kerala are completely different to the ones he has imagined. My mate from NASA said that the US satellites have been concentrating on Varadaraja mills recently suspecting that Weapons of Mass Destruction are manufactured every Wednesday night in Additional Hostel; however I reassured him that they are not WoMD, they are indeed parottas. You should all thank me for saving India from a possible US invasion.

I recently attended a management fest conducted by a private b-school in Coimbatore and I felt extremely sorry for their students, not because they were lacking in infrastructure or anything but it was their flipping dress code. They were all dressed up in blazers, with tie and stuff like a corporate executive but only downside was the temperature outside was more than a 100degrees Fahrenheit and it was a place where deodorants seemed to be a luxury for them. It is all well and good dressing up for the occasion but wearing a blazer at 100F is absolute madness and anyone who vouches for it must have a brain the size of black pepper. The Brits wore it because it’s too damn cold in England and even they flex their business attire during hot summer. But we wannabe business professionals keep our brains inside the refrigerator and take the blazer outside for Occasions!

It is scientifically proven that wearing clothes that increase your body temperature will cause male impotency and I think that is the reason why most b-schools make it mandatory for its students to wear blazers as part of a Corporate Social Responsibility in reducing India’s ever growing population. Some think it is super cool to wear them but it looks as ridiculous as trying to sell an A/C to an Eskimo or should I say being a Vijay fan. TV bosses in the US have apologized after preview clips of Playboy channel were accidentally played on Children’s channels, I am sure those kids would have learned a lot of Biology J.


The MNS have struck yet again, the racist party led by Raj Thackeray announced that foreigners should not act in bollywood songs/movies, week after week the atrocities of these mules is increasing and someone needs to do something to stop them else  India will become like Afghanistan. I am seriously planning to become a writer like Chetan Bhagat but only downside is that I haven’t got any gist or inspiration to write. And I do find it extremely difficult to write diplomatically or use politically correct terms. As I mentioned earlier in one of my previous columns, I call a Spade a Spade and not a soil redistribution implement. Most people have a tough time facing negative criticism and I think one can never ever grow up if they can never take negative criticisms, so let’s not worry about those low life creatures. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend, stay safe. I will see you when I see you.