The Week That Was-Edition 5

The week that was:  (10/11/2009)

I know many of you were expecting my column last week but we had more interesting things to narrate which happened in the campus than me cribbing about something. The reason for my column missing out was due to space constraints and few were moaning that the editors were biased in giving me regular space in the newsletter, so they thought of giving me a week off. But most students did really miss The Week That Was and in order to avoid their disappointment, I am back. The positive comments that I receive from my fellow students were the only thing that brought me out of my misery, i.e. the results of 1^st trimester.

I got the 2^nd highest internal marks in my class but failed in the externals on one particular paper, it is like running in a 100m dash and leading the race for 96metres like Usian Bolt and tripping and falling on the ground just before reaching the finishing line. I was so depressed that I was binge eating on the noodles with onion chutney to kill myself but then I realized it is better to re-do the course than eating the hostel food, so I gave up.

The Sun newspaper reported that Women slap 515 chemicals on their face and body every day - and many could be harmful. It seems that beauty-conscious girls ( or should I say ugly looking ones) use up to 13 products per day, most containing more than 20 ingredients, Lipstick contains 33 elements, body lotion 32, mascara 29, and supposedly the purest product, hand moisturizer, 11,  that study shows. I know a few in IM who use more than 20 products before coming to college and they look like Cruella de Vil (the lady villain) from 101Dalmations. These chemicals are not only carcinogenic in nature but also make you look weird, I for one will vote for those who go with the natural look.

The Liberhan commission’s findings on Babri Masjid was as shocking as reading a news revealing ‘the pope prays several times a day’, they should start taking action on the culprits than writing 1000s of pages about some utterly useless findings. Another important thing that happened last week was, I got a call from the girl whom I had a crush on since school days. After 7 years, I thought that she finally realized what a great chap Ifthi is and she was calling me. The thing is I never spoke with her whilst at school, how wrong I was, she called me to say that she is getting married next month and wants me to be present at her wedding. Poor girl didn’t know that I had a crush on her, once I actually got a bit of courage to say about my crush to her in person, but the worse thing I did was to ask for my friend’s advice.  That idiot asked me to say it with a box of chocolates. I took it and I bought a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates and on my way I was wondering what is more important to me, I was in a dilemma. I had a really tough choice to make; after walking for 10minutes I ate all the Ferrero Rocher and returned half wayJ.

Every international newspaper was going gaga about the collapse of Dubai share market, now what I don’t understand is why do people  still believe in making money of shares?. Investing money in shares and expecting that someone else will work hard to bring the company into a good position so share prices can go up is like asking your friend to eat when you are feeling hungry. I have a better business plan than share market, me and my mates are offering real estate for sale in Mars, so when the  world is destroyed at 2012, you can build your home there. All legal documents will be given and if you are good at convincing others you can sell these papers at a higher value to others. If you earn a profit you can keep all the cash and if you make a loss you can keep the papers, exactly like the share markets. But this has less risk than share market because your land prices won’t crash when some guy in America sneezes.

The most bleeding obvious news of the week was the top US commander in Afghanistan has said al-Qaeda will not be defeated unless its leader, Osama Bin Laden, is captured or killed. It doesn’t take a genius to work that out, does it? The greedy board of directors of Royal Bank of Scotland threatened to quit last week if the government intervenes in the bank paying $4bn in bonuses. It was the same RBS which was bailed out during the financial crisis and the government owns 70% of its shares. I am glad to inform that my former employers Barclays reported a profit of $9bn in the last 9months unlike RBS who reported a quarterly loss of $4bn. Some say that I crib too much but I say about things happening around me in my column as I see it, I can assure you that I won’t call a spade as a soil redistribution implement instead I just call it as a spade. Anyways I might get fever next week and my neighbor’s granddad might pass away too so I am writing this letter of leave well in advance (hehe, if it isn’t published its due to space constraints, so stage a protest in front of the editors or even throw stones at them). I hope you all have a great day, I will see you when I see you.