The Week That Was-Edition 16

The Week That Was:

A lot of newspapers’ column inches have been wasted talking about the scams happening all around the country starting with 2G Spectrum, Aadarsh Building society, Yedayurappa...etc and I want to waste more of it by talking about it here. What a pathetic nation we live in, politicians are trying to loot money in all possible ways from Coffins (to Kargil heroes) to houses, as each week goes by we hit a new low. Well, in one way I admire Mr. Raja, the hero of 2G spectrum and I am unashamed to say he is my role model.  He is a maverick at work, you can cry all you want but not even a single Rupee can be recovered from his personal bank account and he has it in plenty. Crores and crores of rupees are there in his personal account and in the name of Ms. Fruity-language (total loss to government runs above Rs.150, 000 Crores).

If the Government does recover money from him, then I will chop my own hands and eat it with some Barbeque sauce or will watch Golmaal3 once again. Have you ever wondered how come the MPs and MLAs always wear shiny white shirts with no dark spots? If your answer is Ariel or Tide then I pity you, you really need to grow up. There is this friend of mine whose father makes a living by stitching clothes for one certain ex-minister who looted a lot of money through allocation of Spectrum. The ex-minister orders cloth material directly from the Textile mills and his father stitches it; you might be wondering what the big deal about it is? Well the thing is, he stitches 100shirts/month for him and it roughly works out to 1200 shirts per year and 3.28shirts per day. This spectrum guy never wears the same shirt twice, after wearing it once, he discards them. His tailor says that sometimes he changes up to 5 shirts a day depending on the number of meetings he has. What a way to spend your fortune, Amazing isn’t it?

There is only so much of money you can lock in Swiss banks and spend it in eating, it seems like he also pays 6000 bucks for practising Yoga in a certain Yoga hall.  Not really, I just got carried away; everything I mentioned is true except that bit about Yoga. And it’s a universal secret that Mr. Ex and his illegitimate GF spend their fortune in buying educational institutions and our man gifts it to her. Imagine the sort of conversation they might have, “Hey Sweetie, I bought an engineering college for you this week”. She replies, “Wow that is so sweet of you dear, but I would be delighted if you could buy me some B-schools too”. Ex: “Next week I am going to Salem, I will buy a couple”...and it continues. Well if you need to eradicate corruption then my suggestion is, investigate everyone who buys more than 2cash counting machines at once. Unless they are a Public Sector or an MNC no one would need more than 2cash counters, there was this College in Trichy which bought 10Cash counters in one go, wonder why?  Well they were bought out for Rs. 200 Crores (Spectrum money of course) and they needed quite a few machines to count the cash.

The guy who went to deliver these machines was delighted of course and it is nice to have few friends in the management of this College as a source, when I heard the news from them I was dumb struck. Well I am tired of cribbing about it and I believe I have wasted a lot of space, sorry. Moving away from the serious news, my mate drives a gas guzzling monster of a two-wheeler and I told him last week that he emits a lot of Carbon on his to and fro trips to college. Can someone please inform him that attending College is more important than saving planet earth? Bugger hasn’t come to College ever since and he takes Global warming quite seriously. We planned to plant few tree saplings in hostel to do our bit to reduce emissions, but there wasn’t any space at all, because almost all available space was planted with saplings by my batch mates. Obviously both of us were disappointed but my mate came up with a gem of an idea to kill 4tiny plants (by pouring concentrated H2SO4 on their roots) to plant 1tree sapling. “It ain’t wrong to kill 4plants to give life to 1tree sapling”, he reasons. After planting it, he had tears on his eyes and I felt a bit moved on seeing his concern for the environment.

There were loads of surveys which I wanted to share with you guys but majority of them weren’t fit to be published in a student’s newsletter. So, visit Times of India website and scroll down to the Relationship section, they have got plenty of useful information. Some say reading newspaper everyday increases your knowledge, after reading the relationship section in TOI, I certainly agree. I happened to read quite a few books recently and here are some interesting facts, 70% of all Mergers and Acquisitions flop, Synergy is highly over-rated by CEOs were few facts from the book Billion Dollar Lessons. But the best book I ever read in my life is How to Lie, Cheat & Steal Your Way to the TOP, it is available in LRC. This is the most pragmatic book ever written about how to succeed in an organisation and so darn hilarious to read. To quote, “Employees are like violin strings; they perform at their best when screwed tightly”. But be careful when you pop into LRC, because there are 1001reasons to be kicked out of that place and have your ID card repossessed. Do not talk/text/cough/sneeze when inside, your mood should be similar to that of a person attending a funeral. Guantanamo bay has a friendlier atmosphere than this place.

There is a certain library at University of Sunderland where students are allowed to listen to music on headphones whilst reading books and a vending machine dishes out snacks. The logic behind it is, ‘even if students waste 10hours in library we just expect them to spend at least 1hour gaining knowledge’. As a result that place is always crowded and very lively but then, it is unrealistic to expect something of that sort here. But I do try my level best to gain some knowledge by spending as much time as possible in LRC. Just wave your hands at me if you see me (that is if I am not kicked out of course and manage to stay there for more than 5minutes). Until then, I will see you when I see you.